Propositioning

There's this guy (we'll call him "this guy" for purposes of privacy, or whatever) who I had a strictly sexual relationship with starting at the tender age of sixteen or seventeen. We met online back when meeting online was tabboo and scary, and we met on a goth club's message board, to boot. I was in high school and he was in college, and although we continued to see each other (and sleep together) for a number of years on and off, we never were IN A RELATIONSHIP. I never called him my boyfriend, because he wasn't. He was just a guy who I liked to spend time with in the bedroom, and back then, even at that young age, that was cool with me. 

For whatever reason that I can't recall, we drifted apart and stopped seeing each other. We didn't have a falling out or anything. I dated people between seeing him and he did as well, and we just kept up with each other when we were single until a time when we just didn't anymore. 

Years later, this would be probably two or three years ago, I invited him to come down and visit me with every intention of getting laid, and then at the last minute I backed out and made him sleep on my couch. It was really awkward, saying no to him, but at that point in my life I felt like I wanted a REAL relationship instead of no-strings-attached sex. 

I'm past that point now, let's just say.

The online dating thing, it has its downfalls. My biggest problem is that it is really easy for me to find one or two details on someone's profile that will completely turn me off to the point I won't give them a chance. Mentioning video games more than once, not having even a loose grasp on the English language, and showing a great love for the outdoors are instant killers for me. If you haven't been on a dating site in a while, take it from me that right off the bat, 80% or more of the guys who message me get blocked, and more than half the time I don't even have to visit their profile to know they aren't for me - because they just can't communicate. If you can't show me you are even moderately intelligent in a paragraph, come on. 

Anyway, I've been back on OK Cupid lately, scoping out the scene, and today I noticed that 'this guy' was checking out my profile a week or so ago, and he hadn't messaged me. So I did the only thing a girl in my position would do - I messaged him on Facebook, and here's what I said:

"I'll be blunt. Are you currently single? If so, would you like to go out and catch up, etc?"

The et cetera in that sentence? I'm pretty sure he'll know what it really means. At least, I hope he does.

OoooK, Cupid

Some observations on the website that got me a date for tomorrow night, Ok Cupid:

• Most men who say they are 35 or 40 are probably 45-50
• There is an OBSCENE amount of men on this site who have "McLovin" as part of their username
• Many younger guys clearly have no idea how to attract a woman, but they do show the most enthusiasm
• If you're a man, I'd say the likelihood that Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is one of the (if not the only) books that you have listed as having read on your profile is about 70%.
• You say you have "a little extra" - we call that overweight.
• You'll be surprised how many people you know that are on this site - message them, it's fun
• No one believes you when you say you enjoyed Pretty Woman.
• Oh yeah, and we're all crazy around here.

This will probably get me terrible traffic to my site, tons of spam, and shady visitors, but I can't help but post some of my favorite OKFails from various local profiles I've come across. Hint: if you are on OK Cupid, have some fun with the "Roll the Dice" button! The following snippets were NOT edited:

The Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit:

I love playing w/ myself~shaving~"front and ecspecially my ass".
Luv to shave my ass so it's like a babys' butt, nice'n'smooth.~~
I also like to wear thongs~turns me on~it's kinky~and I LUV playing with my "toys"~(anal)~hmm~hmm~HMMM)~kinky.

My Self Summary:

(redacted) was never born, (redacted) was built. Spare parts from dozens of locations were brought together on that fateful night by a mad man. He thought he could create a better person, a god like being whose powers would dwarf all of mankind. He wasn't completely wrong, but the horror he unleashed was even beyond his dreams. Fear in his heart, horror on his mind, that madman finally did what no one else could do. He destroyed his creation. Tore it limb from limb, carved it up into little pieces and threw them out into the trash, right before he shot himself.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food:

porn,X-rated movies, shows that are pornographic,death metal and wet pussy

and from the same profile...

The six things I could never do without:

1. My dvd player 2. Porn 3. my right hand 4. KY 5. A quiet place 6. dirty towels

My self summary:

I used to make fun of people for having a "theme" to their house, until it became increasingly apparent that the theme of my house is Marvel Comics and Universal Monsters. Lest you believe that somehow marks me as somewhat less mature than others, I will remind you that I recently moved and a lot of that stuff was super heavy. That shows both strength and commitment.

See what I am dealing with here? The fact that I got a date at all is an amazing feat.. let's see how it goes tomorrow. I can't wait.

White Rabbit

That's the episode of LOST that I am about to watch instead of blogging properly today. After years, YEARS of pleading, yesterday I was finally able to convince Alisha to watch LOST with me. We watched four episodes on Sunday, then she watched one without me because obviously she is totally addicted to it.. or at least I think she is?

I also have a lot of work to catch up on, which is easy to do while watching TV.

Oh man, date night is Wednesday! I'm getting nervous.. perhaps I'll lighten things a bit up with a post about how strange online dating is and the weird things I am noticing about dudes on OK Cupid. 

Swim

It's the theme for NaBloPoMo - it's something I've tried in the past and will keep on trying every once in a while until I finish it - finally. I haven't yet, but there is a first time for everything - a first time to make commitments and promises and KEEP them for yourself, if not for anyone else.

There are a lot of things that I have been promising myself lately. I've promised myself that I'll work harder in the hopes of getting that raise that I feel like I've been deserving of for months now - something I think I'm OWED at this point, but apparently I still need to show more dedication for. That's a frustrating thing, my job, and something that takes up a lot of my thoughts once I've left it to go home and move on to other, better things. But you know, I don't want to get Dooced, either.

I've also promised myself to get a date - as soon as possible. That is going to be a much longer story, a saga if you will - I can only imagine that there is much adventure to be had in a world I have yet to be a part of. I have already signed up for a free dating site called Ok Cupid and have been chatting with a few guys - I even have two potential but not confirmed dates for Tuesday night! And I think to myself: "Really? It's this easy, after all this time, all I have to do is go looking for it?"

That's where laziness and apathy get you: nowhere.

So I am swimming into new directions and towards new people and dreams for the future - something that I should have been doing a long time ago, but it's like lately a switch has been turned on inside of me and I suddenly NEED the connection that for so long I had just thought wasn't NECESSARY for my life.

But it IS necessary.

And I want it NOW.